Todd Young Kidnapped My Family   5 comments

Todd Young has kidnapped my family.  He is standing in my living room with a gun to our heads.  He is demanding a ransom or else he’s going to harm my family. Don’t worry about calling the police, though.  Todd is a member of the United States Congress, so kidnapping and extortion are entirely legal for him.  The worst part is, the ransom he is demanding has nothing to do with my family.  The ransom he wants to collect can only be paid by other members of Congress, who have no connection to my family, but Todd has decided to use my family as leverage in order to try to get what he wants. A lot of individuals and special interest groups will reward Todd financially for his actions.  I suppose that makes them all accessories to kidnapping, but don’t worry, that is also legal. In case you weren’t already aware, I’m a Census Bureau employee who, as of an hour ago, is on an indefinite, unpaid furlough.  Also, while it should be very obvious, I probably need to point out that the opening paragraph was a metaphor and that Todd isn’t actually in my living room with a gun, though the actual effect really isn’t very different. I’ve never seen a picture of Todd’s wife, Jenny, but in my mind I picture her as Carol Burnett in the movie Annie.  That’s because for her to be married to somebody like Todd, she must care as much about money and as little about children as Mrs. Hannigan.

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Posted October 1, 2013 by Andrew Cabiness in Family, Government Shutdown 2013, Indiana

5 responses to “Todd Young Kidnapped My Family

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  5. its only been 4 hours….good grief….I

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